Hello All,
For my upcoming birthday, I have penned down 31 lessons I have learned in my life. I am aware of the fact that I am still considered young and haven't experienced a lot in life- like marriage or children, but I have had my share of experiences. Please take time to read my words of wisdom that I have so lovingly written down for you guys.
1. Having tons of friends is re-assuring and fun, but having a loving and supportive family is so much more important.
2. A woman can be a mother, sister, daughter, and a wife, but above all has to be educated and have some financial independence.
3. It's not about having what you want, but wanting what you have.
4. Whenever life throws you a curve ball, yell, cry, but know at the end of the day, things always work out for the better.
5. Experience is when you don't get what you want. I will trade my experiences for nothing.
6. You can spend your life blaming your parents for the mistakes you think they made with you, or grow up and take charge of the person you want to be.
7. Building relationships takes years, ending relationships take minutes.
8. Learn about your heritage and lineage. It is the only true way to learn more about what makes you you.
9. Grandparents are cooler than parents, so if yours are alive, spend time with them. You never know when you have to say good-bye.
10. You spend your teenage years hating your parents. You truly begin to appreciate them when you are older. Learn to love them sooner. They are on your side.
11. The world can be beautiful and ugly. Discover it on your own by traveling. Nothing teaches you more.
12. Siblings know you when you were a child. They know you when you are old. No one will know you more than them your whole life.
13. Don't take your health for granted. Your body is a miracle. Take care of it as much as you can.
14. Money makes the world go round. Spending it wisely requires you to stop and think.
15. There will be a time when people you love will hurt or disappoint you.
16. Nieces/nephews are the next thing to your children (I am guessing) that bring you closer to pure love.
17. Compare your problems with others. You will want yours.
18. No sound is sweeter than children laughing.
19. You truly appreciate sleep when you are awake at 3 in the morning.
20. Avoid shopping malls, if you can, during holiday season (doesn't apply everywhere).
21. Don't cry in front of your colleagues. It's the worst thing you can do. It is ok to cry in front of your boss.
22. Hobbies are expensive. Save some money and partake in them. They define who you are.
23. Words are just as loud as actions.
24. Reflection is the best way you can be the person you want to be.
25. You must be the change you want to see in the world-thanks Gandhi!
26. Laughing is infectious so is yawning.
27. The more wants you have, the less happy you are.
28. Getting into the college of your dreams is the biggest accomplishment of your young life. Staying in school and finishing is the next biggest.
29. Women want two things that are the hardest to deal with-men and children.
30. Date a lot of guys (nothing sexual here). You meet some great guys or they make some great stories.
31. Love who you are. After all, you will spend the rest of your life with yourself.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Ch..Ch..Changes
Turning thirty was a life-changing experience for me. Although my birthday was a low-key family affair, I didn't realize how great of an impact reaching this age will be on my personality. Still new to this decade, I have much more to learn from those who are older, but turning thirty has turned a switch on. No longer am I a vivacious, animated and cheerful twenty-something, but rather I have become a more serious, quiet, reflective human being who wants to become a better person than my former self-How so? That will be based on my choices and my unique journey. As you get older, your outlook on some areas of life become more refined as you learn the lessons life has prepared for you. You derive meaning out of these experiences and becoming a more learned and wise human being. The following are some important areas that each person embodies, and I have decided to write down how MY perceptions has changed after entering my thirties.
Relationships: In my twenties, my friendships and family were everything. I was a shy, but friendly young girl, who took time to make new friends. There was college- a time when I struggled to find my identity in a world much bigger than my high school and few friends. I gained independence, made life-long friends, and gained an asset that has helped me throughout my life-my degree. During this age and for the rest of my twenties, I traveled, got my first job, dated, while others got married, and had their first child. It was a time for many firsts. I made life choices that have me still being single, childless, and starting a new career at age 30. In my thirties, I am making peace with the choices I made in my twenties. This doesn't necessarily mean I have many regrets. It's just that I am left with a deeper understanding of who I was and why I made those choices. Many take the healthy approach and accept what choices they have made in the past, and after learning from their mistakes, become more wise and resolute in their actions. With my unique experiences as my backbone of my personality, I know what I can do and what I can't. What I am noticing is that while in my twenties, I was making friends with similar values to have fun with. In my thirties, I seek out more of a support structure. A husband becomes a life partner, friends become networking prospects, family become your confidant, and office colleagues become friends. The evolution of relationships carry over through all decades of your life-not just reserved for twenties and thirties.
Self-Image: After spotting my first grey hair at age twenty, I had a complete Laissez-faire attitude about it since it was the only one. I didn't think much about growing old or my looks changing. Since turning thirty I have spotted many few grey hairs and am becoming to brace myself against the prospect that I will not look young forever no matter how young I feel inside. While still struggling with adult acne, I often find myself worrying about wrinkles and closely observe my face and hands to see if I have some. My self-image changes on daily basis. Sometimes I look at myself and feel completely happy with what I have, and other times, I am not. I don't often think about my looks, only until this annoying voice inside my head starts to focus my energy on what I look like. It's difficult to fight this voice, especially when it is present in my head as frequently as the day is long. Your self-image can change if you have supportive people in your life, but how one sees himself/herself is unique to each person and can stay consistent throughout their lives.
Relationships: In my twenties, my friendships and family were everything. I was a shy, but friendly young girl, who took time to make new friends. There was college- a time when I struggled to find my identity in a world much bigger than my high school and few friends. I gained independence, made life-long friends, and gained an asset that has helped me throughout my life-my degree. During this age and for the rest of my twenties, I traveled, got my first job, dated, while others got married, and had their first child. It was a time for many firsts. I made life choices that have me still being single, childless, and starting a new career at age 30. In my thirties, I am making peace with the choices I made in my twenties. This doesn't necessarily mean I have many regrets. It's just that I am left with a deeper understanding of who I was and why I made those choices. Many take the healthy approach and accept what choices they have made in the past, and after learning from their mistakes, become more wise and resolute in their actions. With my unique experiences as my backbone of my personality, I know what I can do and what I can't. What I am noticing is that while in my twenties, I was making friends with similar values to have fun with. In my thirties, I seek out more of a support structure. A husband becomes a life partner, friends become networking prospects, family become your confidant, and office colleagues become friends. The evolution of relationships carry over through all decades of your life-not just reserved for twenties and thirties.
Self-Image: After spotting my first grey hair at age twenty, I had a complete Laissez-faire attitude about it since it was the only one. I didn't think much about growing old or my looks changing. Since turning thirty I have spotted many few grey hairs and am becoming to brace myself against the prospect that I will not look young forever no matter how young I feel inside. While still struggling with adult acne, I often find myself worrying about wrinkles and closely observe my face and hands to see if I have some. My self-image changes on daily basis. Sometimes I look at myself and feel completely happy with what I have, and other times, I am not. I don't often think about my looks, only until this annoying voice inside my head starts to focus my energy on what I look like. It's difficult to fight this voice, especially when it is present in my head as frequently as the day is long. Your self-image can change if you have supportive people in your life, but how one sees himself/herself is unique to each person and can stay consistent throughout their lives.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thanksgiving '13
Today, we are celebrating Thanksgiving around the nation- and by the look of it- it is being celebrated around the world as well. I think Thanksgiving Day has become a chance to get together with your loved ones. Some say it is a day to give thanks for all the blessings in your life, but I don't see it that way.
I see many people recognizing their blessings and good fortune throughout the year and that practice is much better than reserving one day to give thanks. Thanksgiving has become more of a custom, where people get inside the kitchen and cook up all the traditional dishes like mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and of course, turkey. It is a holiday when people can take a break from their busy lives and do the things that matter-socialize and eat.
We, at the Naqvi household have a tradition of our own. We usually pick a cuisine from around the world and focus our cooking on that. For example, Hina has made lasagna a few years ago and we also have done Asian cuisines, if I remember correctly.
This year, we have picked Japanese as our cuisine of choice. Hina will make some kind of fish, mom will prepare tempura, but I will do something un-Japanese for desert. I have baked a Pecan Pie Brownie. I found the recipe on Facebook, when someone I know posted it on their page.
I purchased the ingredients a few days ago, yet I still needed to make a trip to Safeway today to purchase a few ingredients that we didn't have. I started preparing the desert around 12:00 p.m. It wasn't too difficult and the process was pretty straight-forward. I made a bit of a mess though, which mom was nice enough to clean.
The desert came out really nice and I am excited for me and my family to try it tonight. I hope it is as delicious as it looks.
Fo all you bakers out there, the recipe can be found here.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Muharram's Lesson
I was born in Karachi, Pakistan some thirty years ago and have often thought about God, the meaning of life and where I fit in. Having been born into a Muslim family, I was taught that humans' purpose in life is to worship God and help fellow beings, especially other Muslims in times of needs. I am quite proud of my religion and the lesson of peace that it teaches its followers.
Today, Islam has been a topic of controversy and have been often misinterpreted intentionally and unintentionally by people of different faiths and those who fail to understand the cultural and historical context it was revealed in. Sadly, even Muslims have lost the message Islam teaches and focus on materialistic goods and instant gratification. As we become more intolerant of differences, misjudge each others' intentions, fail to understand different points of views, disrespect and discriminate the weak and resort to violence as means of voicing our opinions, we are getting further and further away from what it means to be a human in God's eyes. In my opinion, a human is someone who has been given a decent amount of intelligence and a choice of free will that he may use for the common good. Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. was an extraordinary and humble man who was bestowed with a larger-than-life task to teach the much ignorant, divided, and stubborn Arabic population the word of God. Not only did he successfully manage to convert them to Islam, but a significant part of our religion was influenced by just his way of living. We called that part the sunnah.
I am also considered a "minority" in Islam. I am Shia. It's a long political story as to why this subsection of Islam was created, but mainly we believe that after the prophet's death, his family had the political right to lead Islam's followers. I am also a "Syed" or "pure blood". We claim lineage from Prophet Muhammad through his only daughter Bibi Fatima.
Long story short, we Shias are observing the month of Muharram to remember the brutal and violent deaths of members of the Prophet's family. To honor those who died, I want to write down five things I learned from Karbala, the site of the the massacre.
Five Things I learned from Karbala:
1. Know yourself and what values you stand for. Hazrat Hussein p.b.u.p believed in his grandfather's cause and wanted to preserve the religion's sanctity, thus he died protecting it.
2. Be therefore your friends and family and whatever cause they are fighting for. Some 70 followers, which included family of Hazrat Hussein p.b.u.h. vowed to fight for Islam against an army 1,000 strong.
3. When you want something, look at its long-term effects, rather than its short-term effects. Hazrat Husssin p.b.u.h. could easily have let Yazid spread his version of Islam and besmirch its truth without challenging him. However, he knew the long-term result would be the utter violation of his grandfather's religion.
4. Learn to appreciate the smaller things in life. We are so focused in our lives that we fail to observe the little blessings that we may have-like family or water. Most of Prophet Muhammad's family was murdered and Bibi Zainub along with the women of the martyrs had to endure loneliness and pain. Hazrat Muhammad and his family, which included little children also had to endure three scorching days without water.
5. Forgive always. Hur in Yazid's army on the last night before the battle and knowing he will die joined Hazrat Hussein's army. Hazrat Hussein accepted him with open arms.
Today, Islam has been a topic of controversy and have been often misinterpreted intentionally and unintentionally by people of different faiths and those who fail to understand the cultural and historical context it was revealed in. Sadly, even Muslims have lost the message Islam teaches and focus on materialistic goods and instant gratification. As we become more intolerant of differences, misjudge each others' intentions, fail to understand different points of views, disrespect and discriminate the weak and resort to violence as means of voicing our opinions, we are getting further and further away from what it means to be a human in God's eyes. In my opinion, a human is someone who has been given a decent amount of intelligence and a choice of free will that he may use for the common good. Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. was an extraordinary and humble man who was bestowed with a larger-than-life task to teach the much ignorant, divided, and stubborn Arabic population the word of God. Not only did he successfully manage to convert them to Islam, but a significant part of our religion was influenced by just his way of living. We called that part the sunnah.
I am also considered a "minority" in Islam. I am Shia. It's a long political story as to why this subsection of Islam was created, but mainly we believe that after the prophet's death, his family had the political right to lead Islam's followers. I am also a "Syed" or "pure blood". We claim lineage from Prophet Muhammad through his only daughter Bibi Fatima.
Long story short, we Shias are observing the month of Muharram to remember the brutal and violent deaths of members of the Prophet's family. To honor those who died, I want to write down five things I learned from Karbala, the site of the the massacre.
Five Things I learned from Karbala:
1. Know yourself and what values you stand for. Hazrat Hussein p.b.u.p believed in his grandfather's cause and wanted to preserve the religion's sanctity, thus he died protecting it.
2. Be therefore your friends and family and whatever cause they are fighting for. Some 70 followers, which included family of Hazrat Hussein p.b.u.h. vowed to fight for Islam against an army 1,000 strong.
3. When you want something, look at its long-term effects, rather than its short-term effects. Hazrat Husssin p.b.u.h. could easily have let Yazid spread his version of Islam and besmirch its truth without challenging him. However, he knew the long-term result would be the utter violation of his grandfather's religion.
4. Learn to appreciate the smaller things in life. We are so focused in our lives that we fail to observe the little blessings that we may have-like family or water. Most of Prophet Muhammad's family was murdered and Bibi Zainub along with the women of the martyrs had to endure loneliness and pain. Hazrat Muhammad and his family, which included little children also had to endure three scorching days without water.
5. Forgive always. Hur in Yazid's army on the last night before the battle and knowing he will die joined Hazrat Hussein's army. Hazrat Hussein accepted him with open arms.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Apple Picking-Swanton Apple Ranch
I planned for my friends and I to go apple picking today. Most of them said no or changed their minds the very last minute, but my very good friend Naziya and her husband joined us on our adventure.
The ranch I selected was in a town called Davenport, which is about twenty minutes north of Santa Cruz downtown. We drove on the beautiful, tree-lined freeway of 17 and then enjoyed the views of the ocean on 1-N. The ranch itself is reached after four or so miles of driving on the windy road after leaving 1-N, and had no cell phone service. We reached there finally after an hour worth of drive and Naziya and her husband joined us about thirty minutes later.
The whole ranch was brimming with life as many families were there to partake in the apple picking activity. There were rows and rows of apple trees of different varieties. I started picking them wildly without realizing that I didn't bring enough mullah to pay for them. Many of them were not in perfect shapes as one finds in Safeway or other grocery stores, but obviously, these were organic apples.
After we picked and paid for the apple, we drank tea and ate brownies in the parking lot while conversing about a variety of topics. We took pictures and jetted back to downtown Santa Cruz for lunch.
Yaseer found a Thai restaurant there and we settled ourselves in a booth. There was a really good lunch special-$6.50 for soup and an entree. We devoured the food and were done in 30 minutes with the food.
We thought about going to Santa Cruz boardwalk, but felt tired. We also had a dinner to go to in the evening so we opted out of that and drove back home. All in all it was a fun day!
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The ranch I selected was in a town called Davenport, which is about twenty minutes north of Santa Cruz downtown. We drove on the beautiful, tree-lined freeway of 17 and then enjoyed the views of the ocean on 1-N. The ranch itself is reached after four or so miles of driving on the windy road after leaving 1-N, and had no cell phone service. We reached there finally after an hour worth of drive and Naziya and her husband joined us about thirty minutes later.
The whole ranch was brimming with life as many families were there to partake in the apple picking activity. There were rows and rows of apple trees of different varieties. I started picking them wildly without realizing that I didn't bring enough mullah to pay for them. Many of them were not in perfect shapes as one finds in Safeway or other grocery stores, but obviously, these were organic apples.
After we picked and paid for the apple, we drank tea and ate brownies in the parking lot while conversing about a variety of topics. We took pictures and jetted back to downtown Santa Cruz for lunch.
Yaseer found a Thai restaurant there and we settled ourselves in a booth. There was a really good lunch special-$6.50 for soup and an entree. We devoured the food and were done in 30 minutes with the food.
We thought about going to Santa Cruz boardwalk, but felt tired. We also had a dinner to go to in the evening so we opted out of that and drove back home. All in all it was a fun day!
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Thursday, October 17, 2013
Eid Mubarak!
This past Tuesday, on a perfect fall evening of October 15th, 2013, was Eid-ul-Adha. It was a workday so I had to work, but the night was reserved for festivities. One of my good friends, Farhana and I planned a dinner party at Shezan. We thought that since we are working during the day, we can celebrate this wonderful Muslim holiday at night.
Eid-ul-Adha is an important religious holiday celebrated by Muslims all over the world to honor the willingness of the Prophet Ibrahim/Abraham to sacrifice his young, first-born son Ismail/Ishmael as an act of submission to Allah's command and his son's acceptance to being sacrificed before Allah intervened to provide Abraham with a lamb to sacrifice instead (Wikipedia).
We invited a few of our CalFriends families and enjoyed ourselves tremendously. The food was delicious and the company was even better. I had invited Hina, Hazem Bhai, and the girls along with mom to the event. Papa couldn't come due to an office dinner. Please enjoy the pictures!
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Eid-ul-Adha is an important religious holiday celebrated by Muslims all over the world to honor the willingness of the Prophet Ibrahim/Abraham to sacrifice his young, first-born son Ismail/Ishmael as an act of submission to Allah's command and his son's acceptance to being sacrificed before Allah intervened to provide Abraham with a lamb to sacrifice instead (Wikipedia).
We invited a few of our CalFriends families and enjoyed ourselves tremendously. The food was delicious and the company was even better. I had invited Hina, Hazem Bhai, and the girls along with mom to the event. Papa couldn't come due to an office dinner. Please enjoy the pictures!
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